This one’s for you non-aviation types, when you fly commercial and board the airline, do you turn right, find your seat and sit down? 

Or, do you make an immediate left, enter the cockpit and start questioning the pilot?  

why haven’t we pushed back yet? What’s the delay? Are we sure about the weather?  Can you guarantee we’ll make our destination and make the connection? Are you mission ready? Does the door handle feel stiff to you? How much time do you have in this aircraft and are you comfortable flying it.  Which engine you starting first? Did you clean up your mess in the kitchen prior to departure? Are you NVG current?? Did you code your pay sheet correctly? How much fuel’s on board? is that enough? How many shift does this make for you? How old ARE you or how young ARE you? Is there enough oxygen on board, we need a minimum of 3.0? Did you notify maintenance about the seat not going back all the way? Did you do a walk around, I didn’t see you do a full walk around? Are you current and qualified? Did you get a release number and what is it? Why are you sitting that way, I’ve never seen any other pilot sit that way? Military or civilian trained? Is that IPad fully charges and current? Did you pull the cords?  Are you sure you know where you’re going? Have you ever been there before and was during the day or night? Will the thunderstorms in the Tennessee Valley be in our way? What’s that smell, is that fuel?  Are you sure you have enough duty time to complete this mission?? Do you mind taking an additional ride along, they’ve never been on an aircraft before and they’ll be orientating for the next two weeks, weather providing? Did you notify, security, dispatch, access center, Ops center, Operation Control Center, lead clinician, The Obamas, Lead Pilot?? We OK weight wise? If you wont do this, we'll get another airline to do it because it's very very very important I get to Cincinnati and I MEAN NOW...

but a very useful insight in to med crew behavior in the HAA sector.  They think they are the customer (actually the patient is) and in charge of everything.  They just can't sit back and be the self loading baggage they constantly prove to be.  They're absolutely convinced becoming a paramedic or nurse is the premier academic endeavor above nuclear physics and all others. They're exceedingly everything!!  

Not.

you use a lot of fancy words incorrectly

a second language for ya, eh?  That's alright, ur welcome to the fold, we'll help ya.  Just be nice or it's adios.

A couple of em were actually pretty funny!

 You forgot a couple. Did you drink on you days off? Do you have a cold? Did you take allergy medicine? I didn't see you take a nap this shift? You're quiet today is your home life ok?

on your days off, you smell

You must be giving off some bad vibes. 

Don't think so.  Many of the med types are intrusive in that way. They question pilots like they were children.  Really don't need that type of questioning.

 We all should question how generations of med types became convinced that they are any smarter then the rest of us. I've seen plenty of screw ups by med staff that resulted in lifetime conditions and even death. I've also never seen any real consequences to them.

At random times during the flight just whisper wt&f on the ics and leave them wondering.....

from being employed

Been flying over 35 years. No question who's in charge.

What sauce you want?

The Gen Z Model.  Your business is our business and we will keep our noses in it !!  Excuse me, could you turn this way I want to take a selfie !!!

You're comparing apples to oranges.  But it is funny.

I just tell them to stop harassing the flight crew or I'll have them removed from the flight per 91.11

Seriously, true story.

The customer off the aircraft. Mgmt will love that 

Just because you are the customer doesn't mean you can do anything you want. 

They are the flight crew.

Where in the FAR's are they defined as flight crew? Yeah.. that what I thought. 

to be aboard the aircraft for any flight. they perform no operational function. 

FAR 1.1.  " Flightcrew member means a pilot, flight engineer, or flight navigator assigned to duty in an aircraft during  flight time."

They aren't flight crew they are med crew. Get it?

They are med crew.  

Not required for any part of the operation.  Just like a photographer, news broadcaster, powerline engineer, or pax waiting in terminal 4 for the flight to Tulsa, etc...

Customer

They are the flight crew.

hose is a medic. that's funny but not surprising

Just look at any accident records with the FAA.  Medical team is always listed as passenger, not flight crew.

Pilot. Naviagtor, or Flight Engineer...Unless you are being sarcastic...

worthwhile.  Put a small amount of wine or whiskey under your collar prior to shift.  Ur crew will have you in surprise alc hol test 'til the cows fail to barn up.  It'll tweak 'em until you figure out what's next.  Always a solution.  Fear not young ones.

The ignorant dipshïtedness of the "flight crew" mentality far exceeds the $17.85 they get paid per hour.  One perk is that they get to go grocery shopping in their precious clown outfit after work and answer general public questions while fantasizing they are on the red carpet.  I bet their internet search history is filled with all kinds of weird sh¡t.  Careersthatrequirehelmets.com is where it all started.  Unfortunately the URL was unavailable at the time so they kept searching....

The American fascination with constantly lowering the bar!