Once upon a time, in a land of crawfish and boudin balls, I was tasked to go on a ops check flight with a new pilot.  We had just installed a new radio or system or something and needed to go test it. 

So I hopped in the front with peter pilot and he didn't look young.  He kinda reminded me of exmil.  So me being enlisted AF, I asked him what he did in the Service making small talk.  We took off and he started going on how he was a retired Col from the army, did his 20 years or so and was just hired on as a line pilot but he was obviously not satisfied with his position.

Told him we needed to get north of town out to a practice area and make some maneuvers.  We did that and everything checked good then I was like "ok we can head back now."  With my head still down in paperwork checking boxes.  He was like, "ok, which way?"

I was like, "Seriously?"

Yeah, he was f-king lost bros.  Was so new to the area, didn't pay attention to any land marks and had no idea hot to get back to the airport.

That's when I reached down to the GNC420 and punched in a DTO to KLFT....and said "there, just follow the pink line space cowboy."

He was like, "I ain't looking down at no pink line!"  "I'm looking for traffic!"  I said, "Easy bro, we have this thing called skywatch in here that does that for you."  "Just follow the pink line and everything will be ok"

He still refused to work with the GPS like it was some alien tech and I had to basically give him vectors to a destination that was but 20 miles away.

Don't know what he did in the Army....But I promise you....it was not flying anything but a desk.

There, that's another story about when I cheated death with a moron at the helm.

Are you not entertained?

A. Guru

the say wut guy:

be me:  Hey bro, your girl is cheating on you.

say wut guy:  nah bro, I don't believe you.

me:  pulling my coc-k out of her mouth as she swallows the last drips of my seed and wipes her lip with my shirt tails.

say wut guy:  that didn't happen.  that couldn't happen.

I can see why people avoid making eye contact with you bro

babies start crying, everybody gets uneasy and the dogs start howling.