The Jab  

In other news, astrophysicists have discovered the existence of hundreds of thousands of mini black holes here on our planet.  Upon further analysis, they were shocked to discover that these black holes actually occupy the space in all anti-vaxxers skulls where their brains should be.  Black holes are the densest known objects in the universe with gravity so great that not even light can escape.  This also led to the discovery that, in addition to light, common sense can't escape from those afflicted with this phenomenon either, which creates and quite possibly explains the bizzare behavior anti-vaxxers exhibit.  Interestingly, some scientists debate this and wonder that if there were any way possible for common sense to escape, would there even be any in there at all?