Back in the day  

Back in the day...you and your copilot did not carry NASA get out of jail forms (these were forms to “confess” to the government that you had screwed up, and by submitting them, you got a “get out of jail” card), and your Chief Pilot had Integrity. 

    In the age of the 707 Those were the good ole days.  Pilots back then were men that didn’t want to be women or girlymen. Pilots all knew who Jimmy Doolittle was. Pilots drank coffee, whiskey, smoked cigars, carried a weapon, and didn’t wear digital watches. They carried their own suitcases and brain bags like the real men that they were. Pilots didn’t bend over into the crash position multiple times each day in front of the passengers at some security check point so that some lowlife federal government employee could probe for tweezers or fingernail clippers or too much toothpaste. Pilots did not go through the terminal impersonating a caddy pulling a bunch of golf clubs, computers, guitars, and feed bags full of tofu and granola on a sissy-trailer with no hat and granny glasses hanging on a pink string around their pencil neck while talking to their personal trainer on the cell phone!!! 
    Being an Airline Captain was as good as being the King in a Mel Brooks movie. All the stewardesses were young, attractive, single women that were proud to be combatants in the sexual revolution. They didn’t have to turn sideways, grease up, and suck it in to get through the cockpit door. They would blush and say thank you when told that they looked good, instead of filing a sexual harassment claim. Junior stewardesses shared a room and talked about men, with no thoughts of substitution. 
    Passengers wore nice clothes and were polite, they could speak AND understand English.  They didn’t speak gibberish or listen to loud gangsta rap on their IPods.  They bathed and didn’t smell like a rotting pile of garbage in a jogging suit and flip-flops. Children didn’t travel alone, commuting between trailer parks. There were no mongol hordes demanding a seatbelt extension or a Scotch and orange juice cocktail with a twist. When the Captain decided to throw some offensive, ranting idiot off the airplane, it was accomplished without any worries of a lawsuit or getting fired. 
    Axial flow engines crackled with the sound of freedom and left an impressive black smoke trail like a locomotive burning soft coal. Jet fuel was cheap and once the throttles were pushed up they were left there, after all it was the jet age and the idea was to go fast. Economy cruise was something in the performance book, but no one knew why or where it was. When the clacker went off no one got all tight and scared because Boeing & Douglas built it out of iron, nothing was going to fall off and that sound had the same effect on real pilots then as Viagra does now for these new age guys. 
    There was very little plastic and no composites on the airplanes (or the stewardesses). Airplanes and women had eye pleasing symmetrical curves, not a bunch of ugly vortex generators, ventral fins, winglets, flow diverters, tattoos, rings in their nose, tongues, and eyebrows. Airlines were run by men like Howard Hughes, Capt. Eddie, and Juan Trippe who had built their companies virtually from scratch, knew many of their employees by name and were lifetime airline employees themselves…not pseudo financiers and bean counters who flit from one occupation to another for a few more bucks, a better parachute, or a fancier title while fervently believing that they are a class of beings unto themselves. 
    And so it was back in my day …. and never will be again.