Etrade  

So I've had my Etrade account now since like 2006.  Never once have they contacted me over the years to try to get me to move money into or out of investments.  I've always been my own advisor and seek no one's investment advice but my own.

Now for the last Month (since they joined with Morgan Stanley) I've had this dude desperately trying to get me on the phone with him to talk about options and investments.  Emails, voice mails, text messages.  Like bro.  W.T.F?  Take a hint.  I don't want to talk wit chu.  Now go away.  We are in a recession anyway..  I ain't buying nothing but bond funds on the way down and that 300k that's just sitting there looking pretty in cash, yeah, that's for the stock buy back after the crash.  Yes, I timed the Market and got out exactly a year ago to the date, and I'll not be getting back in until I see 20k on the Dow.  So leave me alone bro, and don't fret my lump cash that your bosses can't stand looking at sitting idle in my account.  What are you the wolf of wall street?  Go bug someone else.  Didn't need help going from 0 dollars to 300k dollars.  Don't need any help turning that 300k into a Mil in the next 3 years either.